


when i still see it all in my head in burning red

by merlypops



Series: 5SOS Song Oneshots [5]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Healing, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lashton - Freeform, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Party, Slice of Life, Snippets, Suicide Attempt, Underage Relationship(s), malum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 06:33:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3681630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Red was the flush Michael felt when he looked at the sun through closed eyelids, the blush that crept across his skin on the day he first met Calum.'</p><p>
  <b>Michael sees red a lot - when he looks at Calum's lips or eats strawberries or feels scared - but that doesn't mean he's always angry.</b>
</p><p>Based on "Red" by Taylor Swift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	when i still see it all in my head in burning red

**Author's Note:**

> The title for this fic is taken from 'Red' by Taylor Swift and this fic kind of came to be because I saw one of those writing exercises about describing a colour without using its name so I'm hoping this doesn't totally suck!  
> I hope you'll all enjoy it :) <3

Michael had read once that it was quite difficult to describe a colour without using its name but he wasn't sure that was true exactly, because Michael saw red more than any other colour, but that didn't mean he couldn't describe it.

Red was the flush Michael felt when he looked at the sun through closed eyelids, the blush that crept across his skin on the day he first met Calum.

Red was the colour of the mask Raphael had worn when Michael showed Calum his favourite episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles after school one day when they were just kids.

Red was the colour of the cuts on Michael's knees when he fell over in the playground. It was the colour of the messy heart Calum drew on the back of the older boy's hand when he saw Michael limping out of the nurse's office with a blotchy face and a plaster on each knee.

It was the colour Michael felt swelling in his heart when Calum gave his hand a gentle squeeze before he towed Michael back out onto the playground.

Red was the colour of the first pair of converses Michael ever got. It was the colour of the strawberries Calum brought in his lunchbox everyday for almost ten years. (It was the taste of Calum's mouth when Michael kissed him softly for the first time, his pale hands soft as they cupped the younger boy's tanned face gently.)

Red was the colour of Michael's first electric guitar that he used to play a largely mediocre cover of Peter Gabriel's song Red Rain to an extremely impressed Calum.

Red was the colour of the plastic cups the pair drained of alcohol at their best friend Luke's seventeenth birthday. It was the colour of Calum's vest and Michael's lips and the love bites that Luke had sucked into his boyfriend Ashton's throat.

Red was the colour of the duvet cover in the spare room of Luke's large house when a drunk Michael gently pushed Calum down onto the double bed.

Red was the colour of Calum's cock, flushed dark and heavy as it lay thickly on his stomach. It was the colour of Michael's full lips - as plump as cherries - when Calum's hard cock glided between them smoothly, slick with pre-cum that Michael couldn't seem to get enough of.

It was the colour Calum's cheeks flushed when his hips started to jerk and Michael choked on his cock.

It was the colour Michael saw when he looked at Calum and realised that he was in _love_ with his best friend.

Red was the colour of the ribbon Michael tied with shaking fingers around Calum's thin wrist when he saw the scars there for the first time.

It was the colour of the tiny spiced apple scented candle they burnt in a little tea-light holder on Michael's bedside table when he and Calum went all the way for the first time.

It was the soft sound of Calum's breath catching in his throat when Michael sank in deep, the gentle drag of their full lips as the older boy tried his hardest to make Calum feel good.

Red was the colour of Michael's kiss-bitten lips and the flush that spread down his chest when Calum whined high in his throat as he came, fluttering around the older boy like a butterfly.

Red was the colour of Michael's first car - this tiny battered little thing that didn't want to start half the time - and the roses that bloomed in Calum's front garden during the summer.

Red was the bottle of dye that Michael used to change his hair from golden to crimson.

It was the wine that Michael and Calum drank when they were sitting out on the decking behind Michael's house, watching the moon sparkling on the ocean's surface as the hours trickled through their fingers like grains of sand.

It was fucking _red_ when a twenty year old Michael came home from work late one night and saw Calum's blood spreading out on the cold bathroom tiles like ink on snow-white paper.

Red was the fear clutching Michael's heart as he dialled for an ambulance.

It was the panic in Michael's veins when Calum's desperate grip on him weakened as the terror in his eyes faded to dazed shock.

It was the absolute _relief_ Michael felt when the paramedics burst into the room and staunched the blood before they carried the love of Michael's life out of the room on a stretcher.

Red were the crescent moon shaped marks Michael pressed into his palms with his nails when he fought not to cry, to stay calm for Calum as Michael waited outside the hospital room with bated breath, praying that Calum would wake up again.

Red was the colour of Michael's tear-wet eyes after he sat crying all night long in the chair beside Calum's bed.

Red was the blood running down Calum's arms and glinting on the razor blade as the lump in Michael's throat had tried to choke him.

It was the colour a bloodcurdling scream was closest to, and that was what was trying to tear its way free of the older man.

Red was the fragile warmth of Calum's limp fingers clasped gently in Michael's small, pale hands as he comforted himself with the knowledge that Calum was still here, that he hadn't _lost_ him.

Red was the life thrumming inside Michael - it was the love _roaring_ through him - when Calum's beautiful dark eyes finally fluttered open, saturated with apology and regret and, above all else, **love**.

Red was the bright burning pain of the needle inking Michael's bicep, the dark letters carved into his skin forevermore, three words for _Calum_ that Michael hoped he would never doubt again: **To The Moon** , because that was how much the older man adored him.

Michael saw red more than any other colour but that didn't mean he was always _angry_.

Red was Michael's lips and the collar of the puppy he bought Calum when the younger man was released from the hospital.

Red was Michael's heart and Calum's sobs and the watery smiles that slowly began to light up the younger man's face again as time healed him.

Red was the love that burnt through them both like a forest fire raging out of control when they tumbled down into bed, their mouths a hot familiar slide as they rocked against each other, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses to pale, sensitive skin.

Red was the leaves in autumn and Calum's hand in Michael's and the taste of sangria when they went on their first holiday together when they were twenty three years old.

Red was love and laughter and everything Michael adored about falling in love with his best friend.

Red was Calum.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm quite excited about this fic so I hope you all liked it!  
> Please _please_ let me know what you thought by leaving comments and kudos  <3


End file.
